"Kampanerang Kuba" (2005)
Fantasy... and insanely laughable, 19 June 2005
As a self-proclaimed TV and movie critic I decided to give 'Kampanerang Kuba', a chance, much like all the other Philippine movie and TV shows I reviewed. I wasn't disappointed: It was so insanely shallow and mind-numbing I was literally on the floor laughing my brains out. Truly I have never laughed so hard in my life, and what made this soap opera so funny is that the makers never meant it to be that way.
'Kampanerang Kuba' is a TV remake of the popular Vilma Santos movie, Whoever thought that remaking corn-and-camp 60's movies into TV soap opera musicals must absolutely be out of their minds. This time around, "Paris Hilton of the Philippines" Anne Curtis stars as the Quasimodo--or rather--Quasimoda character who, by magical and fantastical reasons, is transformed into a pretty girl and thirsty for revenge against those pretty boy jocks who did not take her out to prom night.
I was laughing my brains out because the show is just fantastically terrible it was laughable. It wasn't as bad as, say, 'Manos: the Hands of Fate', but comparable to classic BAD movies of Ed Wood. It wasn't a bit funny on the supposed funny scenes, but it was a Hell of a lot of fun during the campy scenes: Do you want to know where our hunchback heroine came from? FROM THE ENCHANTED LAND OF THE SINGING HUNCHBACKS! Yes, somehow, somewhere, there's an alternate magical land where everyone is an equally beautiful hunchback with a beautiful singing voice. How crazy can you get?
Next, The immortal soapish elements are present in here, making KK look like the cast of 'Pangako Sa Yo'playing dress-up. Yes, It's very early to make fun of this terrible show, but this is the same feeling as knowing a film will definitely suck even after just a few minutes of viewing it. KK is so terrible and repetitive, it will make you gouge your eyes out.
The only nicer elements of KK is that of the performance of soap legends of Jean Garcia and 'Ms. Powers' herself Eula Valdez. However, even with the insertion of these two power players (which we've seen before in 'Pangako Sa Yo'), the two of them cannot redeem this titanic production. The rest of the cast would make you feel like they're doing it for the payroll.
This being said, somebody ought to ban fantaseryes, telefantasyas, and all of it's incarnations. Somebody should start a revolution.
Insulting the Pinoy Entertainment Industry since 2005.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
another review of 'Encantadia' which is very much anti-me
Here's a review of MY REVIEW from imdb.com. I'm a wee flattered, actually.
Encantadia: The Copycat?, 10 June 2005
Author: pyrhum from Philippines
Hell no!
Yes, they have admitted that they have LOTR to thank for; because without the said film, they wouldn't know how to create a show in epic proportions.
Yes, this show is the most top-rated show on Philippine Television today. One of the reasons is that they have learned how to create lavish costumes, dreamy settings, and out of this world animatronic characters.But this doesn't mean they copied LOTR! I mean, the story itself is different! LOTR's story involves a nobody carrying the world over his shoulders and ends up saving it in the end. While in Encantadia, it is partly the story of four sisters torn apart by one of the sister's greed; and partly the story of a young fairy princess brought to the mortal realm where she suffers tremendously.
The story of Encantadia merely tells what is happening in our country right now. Not that our country is rich, in contrast, it clearly states how difficult it is to live in this country (or the world for that matter). I know it may seem a bit gloomy, but that's the reality. Life is difficult. But living life, is a job. Especially, if you have no one. All you can do is work hard, and hope for a better tomorrow. This is what Encantadia wants to show us: "perseverance is the key to survival". Yes, i admit that an epic quest has yet to be shown. But there is more to a story than an epic scene! What matters more in a story is the HEART a writer puts in it. Like with LOTR, Tolkien gave his heart out in his novel. Likewise with the writers of Encantadia. Unlike in LOTR where the hero needs to travel away from his homeland in order to create a story, Encantadia has its story right there its lands, that's why there is no need to travel to distant places!
According to one opinion, Encantadia lacks the mythology that LOTR had. But why would Encantadia need a mythology, when Encantadia itself is the beginning of the mythology?! Unlike LOTR, Encantadia doesn't need a mythology to stand up on it's own. It has itself to stand up on. And regarding its viewers being unintelligent. Well, i beg to differ! We may not know what 'The Silmarillion' is. But hey, do you know the world of Encantadia? As what my teacher said, a true genius knows that he knows everything and nothing at the same time. Don't call yourself intelligent when you're not! Encantadia is pure Filipino excellence, that's why Filipinos like me love them. Unlike you.
I will be answering this guy's flattering farts one by one in a short while.
Encantadia: The Copycat?, 10 June 2005
Author: pyrhum from Philippines
Hell no!
Yes, they have admitted that they have LOTR to thank for; because without the said film, they wouldn't know how to create a show in epic proportions.
Yes, this show is the most top-rated show on Philippine Television today. One of the reasons is that they have learned how to create lavish costumes, dreamy settings, and out of this world animatronic characters.But this doesn't mean they copied LOTR! I mean, the story itself is different! LOTR's story involves a nobody carrying the world over his shoulders and ends up saving it in the end. While in Encantadia, it is partly the story of four sisters torn apart by one of the sister's greed; and partly the story of a young fairy princess brought to the mortal realm where she suffers tremendously.
The story of Encantadia merely tells what is happening in our country right now. Not that our country is rich, in contrast, it clearly states how difficult it is to live in this country (or the world for that matter). I know it may seem a bit gloomy, but that's the reality. Life is difficult. But living life, is a job. Especially, if you have no one. All you can do is work hard, and hope for a better tomorrow. This is what Encantadia wants to show us: "perseverance is the key to survival". Yes, i admit that an epic quest has yet to be shown. But there is more to a story than an epic scene! What matters more in a story is the HEART a writer puts in it. Like with LOTR, Tolkien gave his heart out in his novel. Likewise with the writers of Encantadia. Unlike in LOTR where the hero needs to travel away from his homeland in order to create a story, Encantadia has its story right there its lands, that's why there is no need to travel to distant places!
According to one opinion, Encantadia lacks the mythology that LOTR had. But why would Encantadia need a mythology, when Encantadia itself is the beginning of the mythology?! Unlike LOTR, Encantadia doesn't need a mythology to stand up on it's own. It has itself to stand up on. And regarding its viewers being unintelligent. Well, i beg to differ! We may not know what 'The Silmarillion' is. But hey, do you know the world of Encantadia? As what my teacher said, a true genius knows that he knows everything and nothing at the same time. Don't call yourself intelligent when you're not! Encantadia is pure Filipino excellence, that's why Filipinos like me love them. Unlike you.
I will be answering this guy's flattering farts one by one in a short while.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Intelligent Viewership and the Prime Time Soap Opera Format
Is there such a thing as 'Intelligent Viewership' on Philippine TV?Apparently not.
I was never a big fan of the soap opera format wherein the actors and makers of the show slave almost daily to create a daily cliffhanger TV show which does not have a solid, central theme. Usually it's just a glorified Cinderella story, a fantasized Cinderella story, or an action Cinderella story. If not, it's revenge, revenge, revenge. I can name eight soap operas with revenge as the central storyline. Hell! There's even a soap opera called 'Ganti'! Who am I kidding?
The point of the above paragraph is, the makers of the show slave for days over a show which do not offer any intelligent benefits. The soaps are what is called in the industry as 'One-shots': One time fad, tommorw easily forgotten.
Commercial garbage such as 'Encantadia', Kampanerang Kuba', 'Darna', and all the other fantasy-themed soap opera were created solely to reap the benefits brought about by the adverts. So, who cares for uplifting the viewing experience of the everyday Filipino? NO-ONE! as long as the dough keeps rolling in, who cares about what the kids watch on TV.
SO maybe it's also semi-justifiable to say that Philippine TV is a big contributor to the 'idiot factor' of kids nowadays.
I was never a big fan of the soap opera format wherein the actors and makers of the show slave almost daily to create a daily cliffhanger TV show which does not have a solid, central theme. Usually it's just a glorified Cinderella story, a fantasized Cinderella story, or an action Cinderella story. If not, it's revenge, revenge, revenge. I can name eight soap operas with revenge as the central storyline. Hell! There's even a soap opera called 'Ganti'! Who am I kidding?
The point of the above paragraph is, the makers of the show slave for days over a show which do not offer any intelligent benefits. The soaps are what is called in the industry as 'One-shots': One time fad, tommorw easily forgotten.
Commercial garbage such as 'Encantadia', Kampanerang Kuba', 'Darna', and all the other fantasy-themed soap opera were created solely to reap the benefits brought about by the adverts. So, who cares for uplifting the viewing experience of the everyday Filipino? NO-ONE! as long as the dough keeps rolling in, who cares about what the kids watch on TV.
SO maybe it's also semi-justifiable to say that Philippine TV is a big contributor to the 'idiot factor' of kids nowadays.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
more TV reviews soon
I'm listing a few other TV programs I would like to formally review and 'tsugi'. In the meantime here are my few thoughts on the following programs.
'Quizon Avenue'
Nothing new. 'Quizon' is absolutely outdated after classic gag shows 'Bubble Gang' and improvisation champion 'Nuts Entertainment'. I laughed exactly 2 times on a whole show... You've got to hand it to Don Pepot, the guy can really make one laugh.
'Goin' Bulilit'
Clever. Nobody thought kids can still pull ratings. Too bad they were dethroned by copycat show 'Bubble Gang Jr.'
'Kampanerang Kuba'
Welcome to the enchanted land of singing hunchbacks! I was laughing at this scene of the pilot episode so much i nearly sh*t myself. I will surely write a comprehensive critique on this show.
'Bubble Gang Jr.'
Really unnecessary. Goes to show when you can't beat 'em, photocopy 'em! Regardless, I believe 'BGJr' comes up with funnier jokes than 'Goin' Bulilit'.
More reviews soon!
'Quizon Avenue'
Nothing new. 'Quizon' is absolutely outdated after classic gag shows 'Bubble Gang' and improvisation champion 'Nuts Entertainment'. I laughed exactly 2 times on a whole show... You've got to hand it to Don Pepot, the guy can really make one laugh.
'Goin' Bulilit'
Clever. Nobody thought kids can still pull ratings. Too bad they were dethroned by copycat show 'Bubble Gang Jr.'
'Kampanerang Kuba'
Welcome to the enchanted land of singing hunchbacks! I was laughing at this scene of the pilot episode so much i nearly sh*t myself. I will surely write a comprehensive critique on this show.
'Bubble Gang Jr.'
Really unnecessary. Goes to show when you can't beat 'em, photocopy 'em! Regardless, I believe 'BGJr' comes up with funnier jokes than 'Goin' Bulilit'.
More reviews soon!
Sunday, June 05, 2005
New Review: "Bahay mo ba 'to"
"Bahay mo ba 'to" (2004)
simple, ingenious sitcom premise, 5 June 2005
Who would've thought that an ingeniously simple sitcom premise would turn out to be a prime time top-rater? 'Bahay Mo Ba 'To' is the story of a house divided--literally--between two quarreling siblings whose families and neighbors are caught in the middle of punchline crossfire. 'Bahay' stars comedy veterans Tessie Tomas and Ronaldo Valdez as the warring siblings, and Wendell Ramos, Mike Nacua, and Sunshine Dizon as their children. The supporting cast include Sherilyn Reyes, Gladys Reyes, Tiya Pusit, and Francine Prieto whose character is hopelessly in love with Kempee de Leon's gay character Harold.
What made 'Bahay' a hit was its humble story premise which reflects everyday Filipino lives. Let's face it, sibling rivalry is very common among families, and having great comedians like Tessie and Ronaldo making fun of it helps ease the problems away. Not to mention the comic exchanges of Francine and Kempee, the sitcom is a winner among Filipino households.
'Bahay' makes a revolution on Philippine prime time sitcoms because of it's premise: it's so simple and effective one has to think why oh why on earth no one ever thought of it before.
Kudos to the brilliant minds who conceptualized 'Bahay', for they are now reaping the benefits.
simple, ingenious sitcom premise, 5 June 2005
Who would've thought that an ingeniously simple sitcom premise would turn out to be a prime time top-rater? 'Bahay Mo Ba 'To' is the story of a house divided--literally--between two quarreling siblings whose families and neighbors are caught in the middle of punchline crossfire. 'Bahay' stars comedy veterans Tessie Tomas and Ronaldo Valdez as the warring siblings, and Wendell Ramos, Mike Nacua, and Sunshine Dizon as their children. The supporting cast include Sherilyn Reyes, Gladys Reyes, Tiya Pusit, and Francine Prieto whose character is hopelessly in love with Kempee de Leon's gay character Harold.
What made 'Bahay' a hit was its humble story premise which reflects everyday Filipino lives. Let's face it, sibling rivalry is very common among families, and having great comedians like Tessie and Ronaldo making fun of it helps ease the problems away. Not to mention the comic exchanges of Francine and Kempee, the sitcom is a winner among Filipino households.
'Bahay' makes a revolution on Philippine prime time sitcoms because of it's premise: it's so simple and effective one has to think why oh why on earth no one ever thought of it before.
Kudos to the brilliant minds who conceptualized 'Bahay', for they are now reaping the benefits.
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