"Kampanerang Kuba" (2005)
Fantasy... and insanely laughable, 19 June 2005
As a self-proclaimed TV and movie critic I decided to give 'Kampanerang Kuba', a chance, much like all the other Philippine movie and TV shows I reviewed. I wasn't disappointed: It was so insanely shallow and mind-numbing I was literally on the floor laughing my brains out. Truly I have never laughed so hard in my life, and what made this soap opera so funny is that the makers never meant it to be that way.
'Kampanerang Kuba' is a TV remake of the popular Vilma Santos movie, Whoever thought that remaking corn-and-camp 60's movies into TV soap opera musicals must absolutely be out of their minds. This time around, "Paris Hilton of the Philippines" Anne Curtis stars as the Quasimodo--or rather--Quasimoda character who, by magical and fantastical reasons, is transformed into a pretty girl and thirsty for revenge against those pretty boy jocks who did not take her out to prom night.
I was laughing my brains out because the show is just fantastically terrible it was laughable. It wasn't as bad as, say, 'Manos: the Hands of Fate', but comparable to classic BAD movies of Ed Wood. It wasn't a bit funny on the supposed funny scenes, but it was a Hell of a lot of fun during the campy scenes: Do you want to know where our hunchback heroine came from? FROM THE ENCHANTED LAND OF THE SINGING HUNCHBACKS! Yes, somehow, somewhere, there's an alternate magical land where everyone is an equally beautiful hunchback with a beautiful singing voice. How crazy can you get?
Next, The immortal soapish elements are present in here, making KK look like the cast of 'Pangako Sa Yo'playing dress-up. Yes, It's very early to make fun of this terrible show, but this is the same feeling as knowing a film will definitely suck even after just a few minutes of viewing it. KK is so terrible and repetitive, it will make you gouge your eyes out.
The only nicer elements of KK is that of the performance of soap legends of Jean Garcia and 'Ms. Powers' herself Eula Valdez. However, even with the insertion of these two power players (which we've seen before in 'Pangako Sa Yo'), the two of them cannot redeem this titanic production. The rest of the cast would make you feel like they're doing it for the payroll.
This being said, somebody ought to ban fantaseryes, telefantasyas, and all of it's incarnations. Somebody should start a revolution.
1 comment:
Thank you for the comment. I really appreciate it.
I rarely give good feedback... true. Howver, it's probably because I really can't give praise to something it does not deserve. My goal is to criticize (harshly) shows like this, to help elevate the quality of shows here in our country. Do you believe in the saying "If there's nothing wrong with it, don't fix it?" I'm stating everything that's wrong with it so that anybody 's who's involved with it could make it better... Malabo yata yon?
This is the setback of having high standards: I can't seem to get please about anything. Though at this rate, I'm trying to lower it, believe me.
First, Anne Curtis' character as the KK is witty and funny... unlike the usual "api-apihang bida".. just look at the lame Narda and her characterless alter ego Darna. She is quite feisty and doesn't give a damn for her being a kuba.
It's a change yes, but a witty an funny lead is not enough for a story to go by. I think the premise and occurences are really laughable. It all seemed rushed.
For a musical, Anne could really sing (if she doesn't have a ghost singer).. She would pass to a cartoon character's voice.
Take note, i am definitely not her fan.. i just appreciated her efforts to step forward from the kaartehan she was since she started.
Well it's about time she got a break. She didn't have any since she left GMA.
Second, KK is supposedly funny... and it really is for the common viewer who just wanted to relax at the end of the day.. unlike the encantadia viewers na nagpapaka-malalim kuno.
The problem with encantadia (gosh I feel like I've been defending my critique of this for millions of years!) is exactly that--it's trying to hard to be deep when in truth it's nothing but a series of soap operatic events: baby gets stolen; beby gets switched; two rival sisters; lover snatching; Jeeeez! How many times have we watched that on the gazillion soap operas on TV?
Although this contradicts the original movie starred by Vilma Santos is definitely a serious and lonely love story between a kuba and a priest... and her transformation to a beauty is brought about by divine intervention, not by witches.
I still think remaking campy magical 60's movies (into soap opera musicals!) is a really bad idea. It's going to fade away quickly in due time.
Jomari Yllana's performance fits him , even Jodie Sta. Maria who is really effectively irritating.
Well, i can't justify the storyline since i've only seen it for like two times.
effectively irritating, huh. Brilliant choice of words! I think you've got what it takes to be a really effective critic.
Goodluck with your books.
Thanks.
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